Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Bat cave

I think I'm becoming a bit like a bat these days.  I tend to wear black quite a bit and I start and end my days hanging upside down in an inversion table.  The life I live in also has some resemblance to a cave these days, and the solitude of that situation is doing me some good.  Now it isn't any sort of absolute solitude that anyone needs to worry about.  I still see friends and I spent a wonderful weekend with Tom and his family, and I am certainly not depressed.  It's just that I am thinking a lot these days about myself, society, my family, my perceptions and my interactions with everyone.  I am not really ready to talk about any of it yet.  It's all still too uncertain and kind of big, like a dark cave still unexplored.  Sometimes, as I venture a little farther into that space, I feel myself change a bit and expand.  I'm figuring things out. In those moments, when I feel myself grow, the cave transforms into a chrysalis, or perhaps a whale's belly.  When I am either sufficiently developed, of simply tired of where I am at,  I'll emerge, perhaps somewhat changed and hopefully for the better.