4 years ago
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I think I'm becoming a bit like a bat these days. I tend to wear black quite a bit and I start and end my days hanging upside down in an inversion table. The life I live in also has some resemblance to a cave these days, and the solitude of that situation is doing me some good. Now it isn't any sort of absolute solitude that anyone needs to worry about. I still see friends and I spent a wonderful weekend with Tom and his family, and I am certainly not depressed. It's just that I am thinking a lot these days about myself, society, my family, my perceptions and my interactions with everyone. I am not really ready to talk about any of it yet. It's all still too uncertain and kind of big, like a dark cave still unexplored. Sometimes, as I venture a little farther into that space, I feel myself change a bit and expand. I'm figuring things out. In those moments, when I feel myself grow, the cave transforms into a chrysalis, or perhaps a whale's belly. When I am either sufficiently developed, of simply tired of where I am at, I'll emerge, perhaps somewhat changed and hopefully for the better.